Faily Brakes Game Review (available on Ipad)
There is an unnamed charming man driving along in his Jeep with his roof down and the wind in his hair. He is having what can only be described as a most wonderful day, that is of course until he tries to apply his brakes. He soon realises that they do not work. It’s up to you, the player to guide the car safely down the hill avoiding obstacles and collecting coins before meeting your inevitable doom (in the way of a car crash). The premise is simple, tap the left and right arrows and get as far as possible to achieve a top score. I am however going to ruin it here and give a spoiler alert: This game is bad.
Unfortunately this 15 second clip shows you everything the game offers – not a lot.
Navigating around the trees is often difficult as tapping the arrows is largely unresponsive and feels sluggish. The coins are collected on your way down the hill to use towards purchasing upgraded cars or you can – you guessed it – pay real money to buy them. Any purchase will remove adverts but even without adverts it’s probably not going to be worth £1.50 for a car. I had a go in one of the taxi’s and it was just as bad as the JEEP and although I went back to it a few times to see if I could get further down the hill, it doesn’t have that addictive quality a game of this nature requires. The blue shield is a good power up as this allows you to run down trees, cars and other objects which may appear without crashing and ending your run. Once you do crash (and inevitably you will) you can save your crash and make a replay out of it which you can share to your friends; which isn’t actually a bad feature, it’s not quite Burnout – but it’s something. You can create clips and pictures, which all ‘shareable’, quick and easy, at the touch of a button – or a tap of a screen.
The colourful environment is quite pretty and the music is simple yet catchy. I feel like the company behind this game went for the ‘Let’s give it the early 00’s indie look and make it as simple as possible by spending £0 on the budget.’ If that is what they wanted then I guess they achieved their goal.
Once you have tried and failed a few times you will soon put this game down. This will be a game people will never forget – for all the wrong reasons. I am going to single handedly give this game worst app of the year 2016, it’s that bad. I think one of the most amazing things about this game is that it has been downloaded over 3 million times. Which is a real testament to the power of social media and the best part of the game, the ability to film your crashes. Well done Faily Brakes. Well done indeed.
You can download this game here. Do so at your own risk.
1/5 do not download. Do so at your own risk.